Fear and loathing

Why is it that I still think lizards are slimy when I know in my heart and brain they are not? It's just something that seems to be ingrained into me. I fear insects biting me, snakes and lizards attacking me. I fear sharks and never swim in the ocean. It seems insane, but there it is.





Fear resides in all of us. It's there for a reason. It's there to tell us not to walk down that dark alley, not to try to swim across a raging river. It's there to help us in many situations, but it is not the main tool you should be using. It is just one of many in your toolbox.

The brain is the toolbox the human animal and fear is a tool that can be used to hurt or help. I'm afraid, these days that fear is being used to hurt.

I have seen more YouTube posts, rants and raves of people yelling the stupidest things because they are allowing fear to control their actions not their brain. They are accusing instead of asking. They are yelling instead of discussing. On both sides. It's as if idiots have taken over the airwaves and now my country is filled with these jerks. Facebook, Youtube, cable news all stoking a fight that should be a discussion, forcing people to choose sides instead of bringing them together to solve a problem.

But that's America for you. All juiced up and raring to go at someone instead of coming together and working with each other to build something. It's what happens when we're bored. I don't think we should be bored. We've got two huge fights going on a half a world away. We're trying to rebound from the greatest financial crisis in the last fifty years and our healthcare system blows. Don't you think we should be sharing ideas and trying to move forward? Shouldn't we be talking instead of yelling?

Fear. Think about it and before you start any discussion with anybody. Are you afraid of them? If not then why are you yelling? To make them afraid of you? Should they be? Remember people have ears. They can hear you just fine if you keep your voice down. Remember that the person you're arguing with isn't out to kill you or take away anything. They're probably trying to help, but just not doing it the way you would do it. Is that a reason for yelling? For hating? For vitriol and spite? I don't think so. I think it's about working with people instead of against them.

In other news, tangentially related to that rant is my friend Brian Ahearn's blog (http://influence-people-brian.blogspot.com) Today's post was about persuasion vs. manipulation. I think he makes some great points about ethics and using persuasion and not manipulation today, but his earlier posts and ones that are coming up about influencing those around you are informative and entertaining you should take a read.

Personally, I think people in this country prefer manipulation. I think that persuasion is a forgotten art too subtle for the likes of this 21st century world. That people would rather manipulate than persuade. Persuasion takes too long.

Actually making a point and getting people on your side doesn't matter if you can just manipulate them into it (or better yet yell at them until they submit). You should remember though that persuasion lasts longer. Once someone finds out you've manipulated them, and they will figure it out, you're back to square one at the very least.

Persuade someone to see your point and they'll be on your side because they want to be there, not because you tricked them. It will make your relationship stronger and you will both be stronger for it. But that's just my opinion you crazy folks can do what you want.

But remember if you want to talk to me, my ears work just fine and I am not afraid of you. Snakes and sharks hell yes, but you, no.

Cheers!